Discovering Roles On The Silvery Sea

Years ago my dear one and I went through some things that brought us to a point of greater defining and understanding of our roles. At first, I wasn't very keen on that word - Roles. It felt rather boxed in and prescribed, and I rankled with the accompanying clasps of constraint. However, the Lord revealed to me that this was an area where the real change needed to happen within me, not the word or idea of it, and in truth it is His plan and purpose that specific duties fall to me and are duly mine.

Some of these can be rather mundane or repetitive in nature, but whose realm of responsibilities do not contain such dealings? However, there is a great wealth of variety in what falls to me in my particular station in life and home.

Among many other things, in my family I am -

* The reader, the one who deeply delights in bringing stories to life for my children.

* The bedtime story teller to my husband.

* The trap setter for squirrels, mice, and even the occasional opossum, as well as the trainer of future trappers.

* One who is willing to listen to your differing opinion, but usually after you have obeyed if you are my younger child.

* Thoughtful in my decisions and answers, and not prone to changing them.

* Usually second to apologize.

* Genuinely available to you, anytime, your day or night or mine.

* Committed to praying for you, whether with you when you need or simply want to hear it out loud or when wakened or prompted by the Spirit - once again, anytime of the day or night.

* Growing in comfort at leaning upon others when I am weak.

* The laugher, both with you, at you, and often at myself - but I'll let you know when. (wink!)

* An accommodating driver of practically any distance for you.

* Willing to take an unpopular stand.

* The researcher.

* The one who will stop the car so we can get out and look at the sky or the circling of swallows. Stopping to marvel at the unexpected beauty of the ordinary is to be preserved.

* Comfortable with spanking, but more fond of counsel. But still....

* The protector of our collective health.

* One who cooks out of love for people more than food, and so will not accept any criticism.

* A straight-talking encourager.

* One who cautions slow judgments of people, having found myself not to be such a good quick judge.

* One who trusts my intuition.

* Usually, bad cop.

* A picky bed-maker.

* The one who will ride roller coasters with you (as I spent today doing with my girls.)

It's good to know your spot, your place, who you are, and who others know you to be. As I considered this today, imagery from an old nursery rhyme came unbidden to my mind from years long past. The moon asks, "Where are you going, and what do you wish?" Our lives are spent determining the answer to just such a question. If in obedience we filter all through the lens of Christ, we become who He calls us to be, where He desires us to be, and discover not only what we wish for, but more than we dreamed possible.

My Dream-Cycle

Well, my kids have probably wondered why it has taken me so long to blog on my number one inanimate object of wistfulness. I guess it's because if I put it into the box, it might mean I will never get it in real life. But as of yesterday's "pretty", I suppose I've shown that that's not necessarily the case.

I half-mock myself by mentioning how I am saving up for "my bike." Every time I have gotten a noteworthy amount saved up in my piggy bank.... Yes, I have an actual piggy bank - it belonged to the boys when they were little. They pulled out the black plug years ago, but other than that it is perfectly serviceable. So it now lives on its back in my armoire where it patiently waits for me to put all spare change into the gaping hole in its pink belly.

Anyway, the money always seems to go to something for my kids. Swim lessons, shoes, books. I have wondered if I have a self-defeating martyrdom complex going on which succeeds in my never attaining my bike. And I can't quite make up my mind which one it would be. Even now, I'm not sure if it's this one exactly. I peruse Electra's and Trek's websites, toggling back and forth, reading reviews and looking for the sales that never are. Cream, green, or pink? A leather seat? Definitely has to have a basket. This would put me back a pretty piece of change, and the ever practical me always imagines as I consider this purchase. How sick would I be to come out of the grocery store to find such an expensive treasure stolen? Do you ever think of things like that?

This is a complete indulgence, plain and simple. I can talk about how I'd use it for grocery shopping and get all this exercise and blah, blah, blah. The plain and simple truth is that I just adore the quaint, practical, beauty of these bikes and they make me feel more like Corrie Ten Boom, Elisabeth Elliot, and the little girl I once was.

If I ever bring you home, I'll take a pic and show everyone. But for today, I'll carefully, lovingly, and longingly place you gently into my box. I can almost hear the trill of your bell.

The Open Road Is In My Mind

Today is dragging by.....

I woke up early and wanted to DO something with my day. M left in the grey morning light for his prison ministry - how I admire his love and dedication to this calling. I considered heading out to a Farmer's Market. I've wanted to do that all summer long, but haven't been able to due to one thing or another. Then I remembered that with our recent list of changes, the girls are allowed to sleep in on Saturday mornings and hang out in their jammies all day if they like. So, I decided to let them have the lead in tailoring the day.

I had a few other ideas, just in case they ran short of them. One was to take a drive up north and check out Mayberry. How could we live so close and never visit it? We could also try our hand at canning some of our tomatoes from our finally bountiful garden. And I pulled up several recipes to choose from or pick and combine for homemade granola bars. But my girls seem to already have plans. It's going to be a day of hanging out with neighborhood girls, chatting and visiting, working on costumes for their future "movie"... typical childhood imaginative play.

So, I have busied myself the mundane work of lone productivity. Cleaning a very dirty kitchen floor and feeling the satisfaction of bare feet upon it; toying with and declining making granola bars myself, seems rather useless today; doing a few loads of laundry, a task I have assigned my children over the years, but now find joy in doing once again as three of the five are out and about in the world now; pulling steaks out of the freezer for tonight's dinner; and getting started on the drying of tomatoes for a first foray into the world of preserving. I'll give the girls a few more good hours before we head out for tonight's movie pick at Redbox.

This could be a daily wash post, but I've been feeling rather speculative lately. So I'll place this in my box of empty pretties. Today, my desires are for wide open spaces, freedom from cares, and the open canvas of endless possibilities. Our wishes and our realities don't always match, but that doesn't mean we stop dreaming.