Among this morning's scripture readings was James 5. Sipping on my rich and creamy cup of coffee, I listened as my gentleman friend read verses one through six. I paused the sound and read it to myself, sitting with it for a few moments. I had him read it to me again as I considered the words. These are hard words for me. My notes:
As I read this, I glance over it for myself. I move on to easy targets, like -----, and wonder if he were to read this how would it strike him? My mind flits back to myself; after all, I am always telling the children how rich we are by comparison to much of the rest of the world. We do live in luxury. We are rather self-indulgent.
But as I read through this, it doesn't sound like me, like us. Does it? Search my heart, oh God, and reveal to me any wickedness to which I am blind.This area of wealth, personal responsibility, being my brother's keeper, not having a Savior complex while understanding that I am His servant - this is just one area in which I long for resolution while at the same time feeling I might never truly arrive in this lifetime. I continue with my readings, jotting notes, praying. This issue links strongly with yesterday's calling-out sermon Pastor Howard breathed over us. Showering, the mulling continues. I'd prefer to abandon this and escape to comfort, but I can't; inwardly, I know I shouldn't.
Hours later, in dealing with other more immediate responsibilities, I go looking through old emails for notes I've gotten regarding standardized testing options. As often happens, you put in a word like "testing" and among the mail which hits the particular nail on the head of what you are looking for, there are a number of others that for some reason or other happen to have a different sort of connection to your word choice. So it was that I opened a particular email that I'd passed on reading last month. Money-Saving-Mom had done a book review on this book:
Bam! Right between the eyes. 7: an experimental mutiny against excess. I've got to get this book. I'm assured it's non-judgmental, humorous, honest, and challenging, sounds like a lot of hand-holding as we walk in the right direction. I asked the Lord to touch my blindness. Looks like He went straight to the spit-mud paste application.
My heart is beating fast at what I will see.
Shared with Titus 2sday, Works For Me Wednesday, and Simple Lives Thursday