Saturday, January 22, 2011

An Earthly Castle - A Heavenly Home

When I look back to the years of my childhood dreams of my future, several things fly around my visions of memory.  I can hear myself singing over and over with Doris Day, "Que Sera Sera"; I see my toy box painted white and covered by my mother with perfect renditions of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves; there was the mix of earthiness, danger, rescue, and happily-ever-after in the fairytales she read to us; there I am doing my best go-go dancer moves on the hassock, or hamming-glamming it up in front of a mirror as I prepared for my acting-singing career; and of course there were all the endless options of ventriloquism, plate-spinning, impersonators, or tightrope-wire routines to choose from on the nightly talent shows.

One thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to raise my five children.  Yep, I was the oldest of six and wasn't quite sure if I had what it took to do my own Mother's job, but I thought I could take on five.

Later on, more serious possibilities presented themselves.  Primarily they fell into the camps of social work or something of a journalistic nature.  I recall reading the line from a poster in my English class repeatedly, "Hitch Your Wagon To A Star."  Upward into the heavens, even the sky was no limit for the possible destinations our dreams could take us.  But as my teachers encouraged me to consider the path I might choose in which to develop myself further and find fulfillment in the adult world, I would inwardly ask, "What about my children?  If I were to pursue any of these other courses, who would raise my children?"  In high school, an internal calling I'd held as a child was carefully chiseled into the woman I was becoming.  I would try to prepare myself for the possibility of singleness and career; but if I were to marry there was no question.  I would be a Mother.  Period.  That had been my dream all along, underneath all the fantasy and flights of imagination.

I was blessed to marry, and flash-forward, here I am twenty-five years later.  Those five beautiful ideas of mine-own have faces, and personalities, and hearts that far out-surpass any imaginings I had of them. My own life was given to the Lord nineteen years ago, and underwent a radical shift in how I see everything, including my role as a wife and mother.  The heavenly journeys-end that I might have imagined from my school-room poster has nothing on what I now place my hopes in.  Life's twists and turns, tragedies and challenges, wonders and charms, are all instruments of divine fashioning upon my life and nothing is simply what we see.  

The life of a humble homemaker.  It's all I really ever wanted; and it truly is all I ever could have wanted.  

Children are a heritage from the LORD, 
   offspring a reward from him. 
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior 
   are children born in one’s youth. 
Blessed is the man 
   whose quiver is full of them.                   Psalm 127

In thanks,

For connected reading go to Keeper of The Home.  

1 comment:

  1. It's funny but I never envisioned myself as a mother, even in college. In high school, I dreamed of being a continent hopping flight attendant and then a bank president during my college years (because everyone knows that artists never make any money).If you had told me that my greatest joys and sorrows would come from being a wife/mother I would have laughed, but it has been my joy and priviledge to be both.
    But, I still wouldn't mind being famous artist. :)