I've always been drawn to things that have the wear of time on them, old houses, faded letters, old-fashioned watches, abandoned barns, and neglected cemeteries. On the flip side, I do not take or keep pictures very often, I purge from our home on at least a semi-annual basis, I am not into a great accumulation of things, and if something gets broken (as it will) there is usually not a great deal of mourning from me. So there's not much chance that my things will ever last long enough to qualify as an antique. While I love looking into the eyes of strangers in old photographs, wondering about their past personal lives, it does not bother me that there might not be a similar picture of myself to be pondered in the decades ahead.
I believe in living in the here and now. The following are some of my dearest words I live by as one who follows in The Way. * "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " That last one always brings a wry smile to my face - ain't it the truth?
Another Mom recently directed me to read this post from It's Almost Naptime. I read it aloud as my girls listened on. I read it with delight and kindred recognition of the values and truths this Mommy has written to her own children. She appears to live with an understanding of the precious fleetingness of this life.
Prior to adopting our girls, my husband and I had looked ahead. We had two sons who would be graduating within the next few years, and another one not too far behind. So college expenses were definitely part of our considerations as we prayerfully considered what steps to take. In the face of our realities (obligations, responsibilities, expenses, etc.) was a clear calling to step forward and adopt. This was a real test of our faith and obedience, and I thank God for His faithfulness to our response. He provided for most of our oldest two boys' college education within the next four years. Looking back, we'd had no idea how He would of course, but He did.
We are now once again prayerfully considering our third son's walk forward into this worldly world of academia. He has been accepted into two fine colleges, fairly equal in expenses, mixed bags in all other ways. He has his heart set on one, and we are praying. Thoughts come into our minds, attempts at reasoning, weighing, rationalizing. Every time, I give them a moment, then I set them up and away as I turn to prayer once again, seeking an answer from the One who knows more than I possibly can. I never want to be somewhere that He has not brought me, nor send my children where He has not led.
Last week I'd chosen what to put on my son's graduation diploma. I thought he'd like something in Latin. He is a classic sort, for all his quirky ways that surprise and delight and aggravate. I chose words that I know will never fail or disappoint.
Quaerite prime regnum Dei
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God.
My life does not need to be one that leaves behind a picture of who I was. But I pray that it is one where a well-worn place is left from the steps I repeatedly took - bringing my cares before the throne, my pleas for direction up to His hands, my secret longings revealed to His examinations, my wounds to His ministering touch, my each and every thing to be enveloped in His ALL. May the mark of my footfall be of such consistent reliance that they are worn deep into stone steps.
*Colossians 3:17,23 Matthew 6:34
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